Hello,

I believe some of you dance competitively with your life partner. When you get upset with your partner on the dance floor, how do you keep youself from bringing that negative emotions to your home later on? I have difficulties leaving anger behind and we often keep arguing after we come home. Please let me know any tips that worked for you.

Thank you.

A vedio recorder may reflect what should be improved./ Calm down and treat you and your partner, especially the life partner , fairly. Don't be rude. if not , you are wasting time, money , and energy and hurt each other./ Of course, when you all do love dancing itself.
Revew the main points obtained from the instructors, DVDs, books, clips, and your studying conclusion , etc in your mind prior you start practicing. /Encourage yourself or partner when done well based on the fact./ Select the key work out , dance it very slowly to find out what and how it should be , then return to normal rhythm with other figures in your routine./ Dissuss with the onlookers if possible. Just for reference , I am a beginner only.
ylchen

insomnia,
I know what you are talking about and what it is like. I read somewhere that all couples (not only dance couples) fight. There is no exception, whether it is a happy and healthy relationship or the opposite. But one difference is that a happy and healthy couple forgive each other quickly and make up quickly. They do not wait until they feel better. They concsiously make an effort to make up quickly. I observed couples closely and know this theory is true. So I apply this to my relationship. After heated practice (and argument), I always make sure that we don't go to bed angry with each other. I don't know whether you are male or female, but you posted, whcih means to me you are willing to find a solution for this problem. Then I think you should take an initiative to make up. Don't let what you both love break your relationship.

I know it is easier said than done.

Insomnia,
Like you, I dance competitively with my life partner. My partner and I, are both non-confrontational people, meaning we avoid arguments of any kind in any situation (which is not very healthy either). On the dance floor, we do fight, in a healthy way. We often leave the studio upset, espacially close to a competition. We make up in the car, that's our way. We both say what frustrated us calmly, admit our own mistakes, say we are sorry and find a way so it doesn't happen again. By the time we get home, the frustration is all gone!
I do want to point out, that sometimes it is extremely hard for couples to not fight. It really depends on the personnalities. My parents take dance lessons together, and fight a lot! Knowing them, I am pretty sure this is unsolvable...sorry mom and dad! They have been married for 35 years, so I guess that what works in the house doesn't necessarly work on the dance floor.

Thank you for all your advice. It helps me to realize we are not alone in this challenging environment. I understand that our personalities play a big role - when conflicts occur, he always withdraws and I expolde. When we leave the floor upset, he just wants to go home and rush to bed while I insist on talking it out no matter how long it takes. In our effort not to come home angry - for the last few days, we tried to discuss what needs to be done and expressed our feelings at the studio before leaving all together. Realizing what we are doing is rather extraordinary puts us in perspective,too.

Thank you all.

Insomnia, This is all excellent advice. My husband doesn't dance and I am jealous of couples who do. You are so blessed. Maybe treat your spouse as you would a friend or co-worker. We are always kinder towards them.