ok, so i am a beginning ballroom female dancer, and i am having difficulties following. i can perform the steps learned fine but the following, lets just say that i do a little more leading. i am taking a community class so there are different people you dance with everytime and i just cant seem to follow the guys very well. any advice?

If you are a beginner, then the class is full of beginners, and the people who are supposed to lead dont know how.

Ask an instructor to dance with you a little, and see if you can follow his lead, and make note of the difference.

Most beginners have no ability to hold frame, and the result is that a slight pressure isnt even felt. So if you think that the problem is at all yours, think about your frame, holding it more firmly and consciously.

Jerry

When I first started dancing I was taking community classes also were you dance with different guys but the teacher was always willing to watch you dance with the partner and give helpful suggestions on what are doing incorrectly when you asked. Just keep in mind that it does take time because the guys have the hard part of trying to follow the music and lead you correctly. Just make sure your feet are in the right position and your frame is held. Happy dancing. :)

Alwayzroses-
thanks for your advice. as you said the teacher does willingly watch and correct and he also dances with people to help them. yeah, dancing with different people is fun but can be annoying. there is this on man at the class who is exactly like my father- it is quite funny. he is stubborn and is in denial that he has no rythm. the instructor even came over one time i was dancing with him and said that he had no rythm. kind of funny but unfortunate at the same time!

btw- i like your screenname!

i dont mean to brag so please dont take it that way, but the instructor often complements me on my frame and has me stay after the class a lot or on the break and he dances with me and even dancing with him i have troubles following. he has told me i perform the steps very good but when he changes the steps around i try to continue what we were previously doing and dont follow his lead. he has tried to explain to me that the pressure and being closer to each other to feel what the man is attempting to do next helps, but i still dont quite understand . if you have more advice i would be very grateful. thanks for what you said about how the people who are supposed to lead probably dont know how, it made me feel better.

As a follower, I can tell you it's a mental thing. You need to get into what I call the "Zen of following"--a state of relaxed awareness and readiness that allows you to respond to what the leader does without taking action before him.

The best advice I ever got was: wait! Don't be quick to do the next step. You have longer than you think to take your next step so you can afford to wait the part of a second it takes for the man to initiate the movement.

A good exercise is to get palm to palm with someone (like pattycake) and have them just walk around, forward, back, and to the sides however they want. You follow. Or you can do the same thing in dance hold. You can also do it with your eyes closed, so you have to depend totally on the feel of the connection you have.

You'll get the hang of it!

Ellen,

I have been trying to figure out why some women are easier to lead than others. Usually when a lady dances with lots of other guys that have good leads she gains confidence and will become a better follower. I know that most guys do a bad job of leading and this can really be a problem for ladies that are used to guys leading well. How do you apply a bad lead to the Zen of following? I know that beginner ladies can be wild and not even recognize any type of lead and can go in any direction. I know there has do be some tension or feel for the lady to feel a lead and it helps if the guy can count the music correctly or everthing falls apart quickly.

The hardest lady I have ever tried to lead was a dressage horse competitor. It was ingrained in her mind to lead or do some type of back leading.

One lady that I dance with often is not that advanced in her dancing, but she is an excellent follower. I really don't know how she developed it, but she can follow well--it seems natural to her.

In most dances the lady needs to know her steps and technique. Don't expect a guy to do your foot work or technique. Try leading a hip twist with a beginner or a sliding door.

More comments please on how the Zen of following and leading come together.

Don't think you can do much following if the lead is not there. Leading and following go together and they are a developed skill and art that someone needs to teach you. Lots of partners and experience helps too.

thanks- i dont have to much experience and only get to actually dance with a partner twice a week and the partner changes often. do you think it wise to try and find a permanent partner? such as a guy friend or something like that?

hi-
i was just thinking, and do any of you find that different styles of ballroom dance are easier to follow? when i was at a class the other day, i danced tango with the instructor and had a little difficulty following, and then we did swing and i found it extremely easy to follow. then he even grabbed another lady and we did doubles and it was still easier for me to follow than other styles. am i alone in this or do others have the same thing happen for them?

Yes, tango is the hardest for me to follow and cha cha usually the easiest.

As for finding a permanent partner, it depends: do you want to only dance with that person from now on? If you want to be able to dance with different partners, you need to just tough it out until your following gets better and the beginner guys get better at leading. It WILL happen!

As far as the Zen of following less than great leaders, if you're social dancing, a follow has no real choice except to follow. You just do the best you can. Although with beginners, as soon as I figure out the pattern he intends, I usually complete it without expecting to be lead through it (being careful not to get ahead of him or backlead). With really good leaders, I try to follow each individual step, even when I know the pattern.