I'm a beginner, and in semi-private classes, so there are very few people to dance with. There are a few people in particular who cannot count/keep the beat to save their lives. Yes, it sounds very mean, but it screws up everyone elses dancing and they will not follow advice. Even when the instructer is counting it out for everyone, they refuse to listen. Whats the best or kindest way to make them realize they HAVE to change what they're doing?

There is nothing you can do to force people to change. They may be listening but simply unable to make a communication from their brain to their legs and feet. It's not an uncommon problem!

Are you a leader or a follower? If you are a follower, follow your leader's timing even if it doesn't match the music/count. It won't hurt your dance on time when you can, it's good practice for your follow skills, and, trust me, you will encounter many a leader who doesn't keep time throughout your dancing life!

If you are a leader and the follow isn't following your timing, try making your lead more definite (clearer, not more forceful).

If you feel you must say something, wait until the timing problem causes an obvious mess-up and say "I think we might be off time here." Notice the "we"--you don't want to seem to be blaming your partner.

Be patient. I doubt anyone is "refusing" to dance on time. Some people with little music experience really can't hear the beat, but they will learn over time. For others, it may be taking all their mental energy just to get their feet in the right places, with no attention left for doing it on time, yet. That too will change as they get more experience.

Be nice to these people. Making them feel bad about their dancing will just make them dance worse. And struggling at the beginning is not necessarily a predictor of how good a dancer someone will eventually be. I know a man who, when he first started dancing, couldn't keep time and it was widely predicted he would never amount to anything as a dancer. He kept at it though, and is now a very elegant dancer who routinely wins competitions. A little niceness is a good investment--one of those people may turn out to be your favorite partner in the long run.

I was greatly encouraged by this posting. I can identify with your comments on timing and experience. I went to my first salsa dance class tonight. In fact. I've never danced before in my life and I am 49. I felt really clumsy and very slow and kept making mistakes. However, my dancing partner and coach were very patient and encouraged me. That attitude really helped me and by the end of the class I felt I had learned a lot and could go back for more classes. A negative comment would have embarrassed me and driven me away. Instead I can say that I really enjoyed it and am determined to really work at it, especially after reading your posting. Thank you again. Adrian

As a beginner, the worse thing you can do is give others advice. As others said, even if the leader is off beat, follow the leader. It is better to be in sync with the leader and off beat, rather than be on the beat and out of sync with your partner. Many people when starting out, are so focused on steps and leading/following, than don't even listen to the music. As they progress, normally they correct that. Although I have seen some people with no clue about the beat, dance in sync with each other and do pretty good.

Alright, thank you guys.
Yes, I am a follower, and have been in various types of music for 12 years, which I guess is a big part of my impatience. I'll work on that, as well as following, no matter what they're doing. Thanks again.

Agree. There is nothing to gain in criticizing people.Being patient and nice will go a long way in encouraging problem partners to do their best.

One thing that you can try to do is to clap out the beat with your partner. If your partner is trying to find the beat and just can't get it, if they clap the beat they may be able to hear it better.