A very dear friend of mine once said to me that you can learn a lot about a person by dancing with them. I think she was absolutely on the money!

What insights and observations have come to you about human nature by way of the dance floor?

Your thoghts here, from the subline to the ridiculous!

Hoo Hooooo Hoo Hoooooooo

You can tell a man who is secretly insecure and outwardly arrogant when the first step he ever dances with you is from the Gold star category.

You can tell a man who is insecure of his abilites by the hesitation through his center.

You can tell a man who is insensitive when he continually leads you through patterns you don't know (and thoroughly botch) but never realizes that he should take his level down a bit.

You can tell an arrogant fool by the way he misleads a step and then patronizingly says "Oh it's alright dear, you must be new to that one".

You can tell a man that is dependable and caring by the way he lines up to you in closed position and begins with steps below his own level.

You can tell a thinking man because he notices the steps you are troubled by and alters his lead accordingly.

You can tell almost everything about a person in one good round of smooth or standard. Of course, really good dancers can fake some of the good stuff! So be wary ladies

M

Dance has often been compared to courtship. The psychology of choosing a regular dance partner certainly seems to reflect what an individual looks for in a mate. Take, for example, a classroom-type setting full of unattached single people. A derogatory male with an over-inflated opinion of his ability, and a woman who is insecure and submissive/impressionable, will almost always gravitate toward each other, and become regular partners. This can be kind of scary, actually: what might we learn about ourselves if we analyze our choice of a regular dance partner? It's also interesting to look at which couples try to work out problems without assigning blame, as opposed to those constantly finding fault with each other (or one in which it always x blaming y). I think how a person acts in a dance partnership is highly reflective of how they'll act in a marriage – or ANY type of partnership for that matter.

Maybe 10 weeks of intensive dance lessons should be made into a prerequisite for getting a marriage license?

[This message was edited by Ralph on 04-02-03 at 10:42 AM.

[This message was edited by Ralph on 04-02-03 at 10:43 AM.]

I have the beginnings of a theory about dance classes. When the couples are getting back together after being lined up men on one side, ladies on the other, some couples walk toward each other and in some cases, one partner always seems to make the effort to move and the other just stands there as if it was too much of an effort to move (guess which kind my DH is!). And I think sometimes one moves and the other stays in a more equal pattern. I would love to make a real study of it and make predictions on the way they behave in other areas of their lives 'Dya think I could get some kind of a grant from National Geographic or someone "Migration patterns of the dancus ballroomicus"?

Your last comment for a follower reminds me of a story (a short one):

My friend once asked me, "Why do you dance with him? He's a lousy dancer and doesn't lead."

My response was, "Because all of us were beginners at some point."

I won't forget where/when I started. Don't people have to practice to improve?

Update on this story: This guy has been taking private lessons. Over the last two years his dancing and lead have dramatically improved (and my friend has become somewhat of a wallflower).

Regards,

Here are some interesting observations I've made in dance class.

People who think they aren't very good, but really are either have high expectations of themselves or are lacking self esteem.

People who think they are really good, but aren't tend to have inflated egos or are clueless as to their abilities.

If you watch people doing just the basic of salsa like in a Beginner class, you can see who lets people push them around and who doesn't. The people who let themselves be pushed around tend to drift back from their original starting point on the dance floor. You can also tell who's pushy

Great Question! To me, motion is emotion. It is possible to tell how someone is feeling just from observing their physiology. In a similar vein, I've found one could gauge a person's approach to life (or at least their moods) based on seeing them on the dancefloor.

-Is he/she cautious and reserved?
-Does he/she possess a large ego?
-Is he/she carefree and funloving?
-Is he/she disciplined? studied?
-Is he/she a perfectionist?
-Is he/she flexible and adaptable?

These are some of the things I learn about people just through social dancing.

Hey Vince, you made me laugh...I guess I did run on with the negatives huh?? Sorry guys!

Hoofer919...I am generally a follower but...IMHO here are a few of the things I have learned from dancing with women...

You can tell a woman that loves to dance by her radiant smile on the floor (sounds corny I know, but its true). I have seen ladies of all levels that I could watch dance for hours simply because the love it so much! Great examples; Ruthie Perkins from Nashville, Elizabeth Richardson from St. Louis, Blair Underwood from ?, and Cheri Read from Milwaukee. A special note that Ben and Shalene Ermis have the most radiantly happy looking students on the floor. This couple knows how to truly put joy in their students dancing.

You can tell a woman that's arrogant when she keeps leading her own head snaps in Tango

You can tell a woman who is vain when she spends all of a swing watching herself in the studio mirrors...uh who was I dancing with?

You can tell a woman who doesn't practice alone when she knows all of the patterns but just can't seem to be over her own feet.

A lady who sings along with the music...must be pretty happy with your lead, or at least is trying to make you think she is!

You can tell a woman who is inexperienced or a bit timid because she won't drive through the center (thus stepping back and slightly side almost invariably causing her to cross her feet when she should pass).

A thoughtful follower is the first to say "Oh, we missed it, let's try it again"

A well trained follower will follow you into hell and back...you want to lead hand to hand passes against line of dance, she's there for you

The number one identifier of a fine, thoughtful, confident dancer...they're the ones that single out a beginner, a shy student, or an older student who struggles to stay on time and asks them for a dance. They are forgiving, honest and encouraging. Though these people are not always the best dancers, they're the best dance ambassadors, and the best people in my book any day.

Champion Dancesport-KC/Mil.:

Thanks, I printed that out and placed it in front of my carry-with-me-at-all-times notebook.

I truly treasure what you wrote . . .

I plan on reading it often in hopes that I never become insecure, outwardly arrogant, insensitive, undependable, nor unthinking.

Vince A

I'm with you hoofer919. Everyone needs enthusiasm and encouragement when they are beginners....but especially men, as they have much more to assimilate and apply.

Could some ladies lack of sympathy be the reason why we're often short on advanced men?