I am having a really difficult time with dancing politics. Anyone have advice or consulation or something wise to say? I need it because I'm having a really frustrating time.

My instructor works out of a small studio. His professional partner (and live-in girlfriend) teaches lessons there as well. Until early December she paid absolutely no attention to me. I think I saw her one time. My instructor and I did a little number for a charity benefit (she performed there as well) but something happened to her that night to turn her into a crazy green eyed monster who is getting in the way of my being able to dance.

Since than she has been chaperoning us like a nun at the prom. She is never teaching and shouldn't even be there but she has taken to sashaying back and forth right in the line of dance, alone, though the studio is huge! We've almost run into her twice, I can't pay attention because her behavior is so outlandish no one could possibly ignore what she is doing. Yesterday she literally tucked her skirt into her underwear and danced behind me while moaning.

I don't know what to do. Nothing inappropriate has ever passed between my instructor and me. He is a professional and my interests lie elsewhere. I would ignore it but she's actually starting to make me nervous.

Any ideas?

instructor.

My own personal philosophy holds that such situations are best handled by direct confrontation. However, I don't know where you live and what choices for dance instruction are available to you. Were I in your shoes, I'd make it clear that I would not put up with the situation (I'd also look very silly and my feet would hurt). I understand that your choices may be limited.

Obviously, your instructor made some innocent comment about you or committed some little familiar gesture around you that upset his partner. Believe me, guys really have no clue what will set women off on a jealous tirade. If we did, we'd probably never talk to them.



jj

I would say something to your instructor about how you are feeling. It is YOUR hour and anyone interfering, be they a fellow student or another teacher is out of line.

But before doing any drastic things like ultimatums or changing studios, just TALK to him about the distractions. She is clearly jealous of something good in your dancing and is trying to mess with your head--but I bet you already know that.

The nuns I know are nicer women than that--even when chaperoning at the prom! ROFL!

I agree with the above posters. Talk to your instructor. Tell him you are unhappy with the distractions and they have to stop. Do not go into her bizarre behaviour but approach it from a business angle. You are paying for an hour of uninterrupted coaching and you're not getting it. It bothers me that he would allow her to behave in such an unprofessional way in the first place. It is as much his problem as hers. They both have very odd ideas of what is appropriate.

I'd tell BOTH of them, next time you see them together, that her behaviour is completely unacceptable, and must stop now.

Why should you put up with it?

I've no advice to offer, but let me say- what a couple of morons! I hope they're *really* good teachers, otherwise I'd feel pretty dumb paying for an hour's daycare at Romper Room...

Makes me wonder if they've played this little game before. "Let me try to make you jealous, because I'm still ticked off about what happened last week." And then it suddenly goes away just as quickly as it surfaced? Don't be surprised if that's at least part of it. Yes, the partner sounds like a real buffoon, but your instructor may be a master of this kind of head game. And, unfortunately, you are in the middle of it. I would play it coy, actually, and see if the opportunity arises to tell the partner that it appears there are some head games going on, and you feel sorry that they have to drag personal things into their professional lives. It's a formula for eventual disaster for them, not you. Keep your eyes open for other instructors, or even very good dancers at the studio who might be willing to help you on the side somehow.

He really is a great teacher, otherwise I would have already walked out.

His students consistently come out at or near the top for scholarships, including at Ohio Star.

Ahhh, well, that explains part of the outlandish behaviour. You are dealing with an enormous dance ego. He probably feeds off the adulation and jealousy of his spouse, behaviour which he is not getting from you. Perhaps you're not adoring enough! Next lesson, if she should start up again, I would just stop, turn around and say,"Excuse me, what are you doing?" Direct confrontation might be the only way.