Ok were to start. Me never danced at all my whole life. I seriously have two left feet and no rhythm. My wife wanted to learn ballroom dancing so I'm trying hard to do this for her and to tell you the truth I think I will like it if and that's a big if I can do this. We just finished 17 45 min lessons. I was hoping to be much better than I am. I have a real hard time leading and what step to do next. At this point I can never see us gliding around the floor like I see others doing. What is a realistic time frame to actually be able to be mediocre. Our sessions are coming to a end and I'm having a hard time having to fork over 2K

Mike,
Keep it up! You can and will improve. My husband has trouble keeping a beat, and it's been a slow process of progression. HOWEVER, he's learning at his own pace and doing it well. He won "Top Student" for his level at a major competition. It may take you a little longer than others, but as you master the steps you will have more and more fun.

Mike69,
Sounds like you are taking private lessons. Try group lessons at bronze level. Learn the chorography of one dance you like, and practice it with your wife. Keep repeating until you know the chorography well, so you can dance two walls and repeat.

At that point take a few private lessons. Tell the teacher that you dont expect to be technically perfect but you want to be more fluid in your movements. So the teacher should not overburden you with difficult technical material, just make dancing more enjoyable. Tell the teacher that you will return later to improve your technique, but for now you just want to enjoy dancing.

You said you dont have a feeling for rhythm. Never mind, ask your wife to count, for now. Who said that dancing is easy? It is one of the most difficult sports. But a great sport.

You have taken 12 hours of dance lessons. Almost everyone is disappointed with their progress in the beginning. Do not compare yourself to others. There is a steep learning curve in the beginning when you have to learn the steps, how to lead and dance on music. What it comes down to is practice. Does your studio offer practice time or dances where you can work on your steps? Or walk through them in your living room every day. There aren't any short cuts but if you keep at it, you will improve. It sounds like you are paying a lot for lessons, you might want to switch to groups or even another studio with more reasonable rates. But keep at it and one day it will all come together.

Mike, you say that you have a hard time deciding what to do next. One thing that may help you is to put together a little amalgamation (containing figures you can handle) in each dance. When my wife and I were getting started we found that doing that helped immensely--we were about ready to give up before we got the idea. The amalgamations don't have to be complicated; if you dance just three or four different figures, you look like you're doing something. And not worrying about what comes next makes it easier (maybe I should say "possible") to improve.

As for leading, doing it well involves technical things, best left to your instructor. But if you and your partner have a good dance frame, that helps a lot. Leading isn't arm wrestling; if your connection is good, you'll be surprised how easily your partner can pick up what you are doing.

Mike, dancing is something that takes perseverance, time and effort - my wife and I started in September on holiday where we had two hours of group ballroom and Latin lessons each day and a three hour social dance session each evening. By the end of two and a half weeks we could do some steps but were constantly making mistakes and having to stop and start from the beginning even on simple routines with only a few steps! That was after 19 hours of instruction and about 30 hours of social dance!

After the holiday we took additional group lessons - 4 hours a week plus going to social dances every couple of weeks. So now we have done around 100 hours of dancing of which about 60 hours has been classes. We are only now getting to the stage where we can get around the dance floor with the waltz, and do a cha cha cha routine of a fair bit of variation in the steps. However every other experienced dancer whom we have talked to says don't give up, and keep practicing. Watch videos of the dance sequences at home and try parts of the steps that you have room to try in your own home. Ask others what you are doing wrong or where you may miss which foot to place where, or what direction you should be facing at a particular place in a routine where you are turning.

At first it takes every brain cell just to remember where on earth you are supposed to be putting the next foot down and whether you are facing the same direction or turning in which case which way to turn! However eventually you will be able so play the routine in your mind like watching a video - and then you will be ahead of the steps as you dance, and know what is coming next for each step and it gets easier from then on. But as others have said it is really a steep learning curve at first. In the end all of the hard work and frustration starts to give way to enjoyment at being able to succeed. It is best to get some pleasure from doing simple routines well rather then being frustrated at getting complicated routines wrong and not reaching the end of long routines.

Once you can do simple routines then slowly add small numbers of extra steps.

There are many places that can give rise to a muddle - some dances you start with say the left foot as a man, but others it is the right foot and it is hard to switch initially. Some dances also switch mid stream, like the waltz where you are swapping starting with left and right foot for each three steps, except where there is a lock-step for example - which can then throw off the rhythm until you get more proficient.

It is also really important to have a good dance instructor - a good instructor can ease the pain, but a bad one can end up making you more confused about what you are trying to do.

However every competent dancer has been through that same pain of learning - so we all understand how you are feeling. Hopefully you will persist and get to the stage where it is enjoyable and you can do it well.

I agree with the majority of comments above. To add a few of my own:

It seems men take longer to learn steps than women. Exactly why is unclear, but men seem to have a much harder time in the beginning - maybe because we need to worry about the step(s), leading the step(s), and floorcraft.

17 lessons isn't much time. Maybe it would be if you concentrated on a single dance, but I'm guessing you did a "variety pack". It takes time to get the steps burned into muscle memory.

When I was a newbie, I found it most helpful to take Bronze group classes and then follow up with a private lesson to clarify, review and work on technique. Even after 5 years of dance lessons, my wife and I take Silver group classes to get the basic syllabus and then refine what we've learned with private lessons. We've also found that semi-privates are a good compromise between group craziness and (expensive) privates. (Our semi-privates usually have 3-4 couples and we focus on technique).

Lastly, practice, practice and practice more.

And here's a true story:

When I started taking ballroom classes, I was so bad that even some assistant dance instructors tried to avoid dancing with me. Last month, my wife and I competed in International Standard at a National Qualifying Event and did reasonably well in our division. So it's true that there is a light at the end of the dance tunnel.