My boyfriend learned to ballroom dance starting in 2008. He pressures me into learning to keep our relationship, then he says it does not matter. He speaks out of both sides of his mouth, on one hand, I should not spend the money on lessons as he will teach me, but he doesn't teach me and gets upset that I am not learning. He is really good and expects me to like this and learn more and more ............. how do I like this? It seems hard, uncomfortable and I am under so much pressure to learn from him I sort of resent it ...... why is this such a big deal? I think it is good but much more difficult to do correctly then I ever imagined and some of the moves are just over the top ..... I think the pressure has killed any confidence ....... any advice?

I can't give you advice on your relationship with your boyfriend. But I recommend that you take lessons from a pro. Learning to ballroom dance isn't exactly natural, and it requires (among other things) getting rid of some mistaken ideas--it's not the steps, at least they aren't the most important things--and a pro will have a better idea of how to get past whatever problems you may have. (It's a paradox--when you get to be an experienced dancer, you may wonder why people have trouble learning something that's so easy.) If you live somewhere where there is a USA Dance chapter, they may be able to help you find dance classes (group classes are a good way to start) that won't break your budget. Finally, it may help you to learn from someone with whom you don't have a personal relationship.

If your BF has been dancing seriously since 2008, by this time he should be relatively advanced. He might be forgetting what it's like to be a beginner and is having a hard time getting back to the "newbie" mindset.

BR is not inherently more difficult than many things, but it takes work to get to a level beyond basics. That includes private lessons and lots of practice.

Some (many?) of us could not imagine a longterm romantic relationship with a person who doesn't like / do ballroom dancing - it's that important to us. It's a positive thing that he wants to involve you; you need to understand that dancing can be as addictive as running or golf, etc. and be an extremely important part of life.

Good luck!

Find a new Boyfriend.