Does anyone know of good websites that explain or teach one how to listen to the tempo of music and dance according to the right dances?

I have not found any. There are some YouTube videos that teach musicality, which is what I think you may be asking about. One of the hardest things when my wife and I started dancing was "guessing" what dance went with the music that was playing. There are a few shortcuts, but mostly you have to listen to the tempo and mood of the music. As an example, Volare sung by Dean Martin is a foxtrot, but the Gipsy Kings version of Volare is a vigorous salsa. My advice is listen to lots of music and always try to imagine what dance might go with it. Remember that both tempo and mood matter. You may be doing quick-quick-slow but if the music is sexy then its salsa, if it is moody and romantic then it is the rhumba. Finally, just go for it. If it doesn't feel right just switch!