Hello all,

I am an am/am dancer who dances with a close family member. We have been dancing for about three years and have done a handfull of competitions. As still "beginners" I definitely have some bad habits and work to do in improving posture, stance, etc. When we practice, my partner can become critical and sometimes angry that I'm not "getting" things that are "basic" and "easy". This makes me super anxious when we practice and I have a hard time relaxing and focusing. Any advice on overcoming this?

Two things:
1. You know it's coming. Do you feel anxious when you hear a dog bark? Try smiling—and don't argue.

2. Is the criticism justified? It's easy to forget about the basics (posture, dance frame, etc.) when you're focusing on a new dance figure.

A dance instructor who is also a friend once told me about an opportunity he had to have a training session with a champion dancer. The first thing the coach told him was "You don't know how to walk." This guy (my friend) had been teaching dance for 30 years.

Leading is easier than following in one important way—you know what you're going to do next, but she can only tell from your lead. A good connection makes lots of things easier. Don't think that matters when you both know what figure you're practicing? If your partner does the right steps because she knows what to do, you aren't dancing together. She could do the same thing without you. Even when you're dancing choreography you want it to look like you're dancing together.

You aren't the first person to face this problem.

Thank you. Should have clarified that I am the follow, not the lead. Yes, I know it's coming, which doesn't quite help calm the nervousness beforehand, which then makes me stiff, hard to concentrate, etc and becomes somewhat of a self-fulfilling prophecy.