I've been taking lessons (American) for a little over a year and I go to the studio's dance parties pretty regularly. There's a big mix of dancers there--from very beginners to serious amateur competitors.

Needless to say, I dance mostly with the beg.-intermed. dancers and generally we don't have any body contact. But as a result of my lessons, I am starting to find it easier and more fun to dance the smooth dances with body contact.

Is there an etiquette about body contact in that setting? In general, who is responsible for intiating body contact when a couple takes a dance hold? I find it a lot easier to follow when there's body contact. Do men also find it easier to lead?

I'm not sure if body contact is out of place in a social setting (although almost all of us are students at the studio) or if the guys are avoiding it to be polite, waiting for me to start, or just haven't gotten to it in their lessons yet. I'm pretty sure it's not my breath! :)

I used to think body contact was very important to a good connection, but my coaches tended to stress maintaining a consistent body spacing and proper posture as more important. I even had a lesson with a British former world champion who considered the whole idea bordering on indecent. So I've worked on leading more through the arms (not with the arms, but transmitting body motions via them) and have become comfortable with a tiny bit of space in the partnerhips. Many local pro-am students are taught to really plaster themselves on the man even to the point of ruining their posture, and on the few occasions I dance with them at socials I find myself often trying to hold them a little bit away in order to be able to move comfortably.

As for the decency aspect, since my comp partner and I started dating I haven't really given the closeness of the frame much thought - it's just a dance frame unless we consciously choose to make it something more. Though back when we were just dancing together, just dancing could be distracting at times.

I like body contact. In fact the more contact the better. There should be so much friction between two people dancing that a flame of passion should just simply ignite into a fury of flame that will burn forever. Burn baby Burn! Disco Inferno!

It really is a matter of common sense. Competitive dancing involves complex movements and contact is essential if the lady is to be able to follow the man. I wouldn't have thought tango is possible at all without close contact. My teacher is trying to beat my arm-leading out of me!!(with some success).
Social dancing is different. Traditional social dancing involves a public dance hall and dancing with strangers or near-strangers. Close contact in these circumstances is inappropriate, and unnecessary since the steps are basic and hardly need a lead. Dancing competition-type steps in a social setting is seriously frowned on(at least here in Ireland) unless there is a lot of empty space. If it's a dance studio with regular 'social' dances and you know the people quite well, then i see no reason why there shouldn't be some close contact. Who initiates it - i'm not sure.

Well, I think it works like this: whoever wants more space, gets it. The men, especially if they're beginners, may not be used to body contact while dancing and may be a bit uncomfortable using it. They may feel it's distracting (you *do* have a woman's body pressed against yours) or that they can't move as well without some space or whatever. If they need some more space, let them have it. As they become more advanced, they'll get used to using body contact, it is often helpful in dancing, and they won't care anymore. At that point, I think it's up to the lady to choose the spacing. If she wants to use body contact, she'll get into dance position with it right away. If she doesn't, she won't. Either way, the man should then adapt and give the lady what she wants.

So yeah, basically I think whoever wants more space should get it. Once the man is used to using body contact and willing to dance with it, it's up to the lady to chose the spacing.

One of the very first things I was taught is that the WOMAN establishes the contact, or lack thereof.

I'd agree, but only when the man is already willing to dance with body contact. Then the woman gets to choose the spacing because it doesn't matter to the man. He should be able to adjust to however the lady sets up. But if he's not used to using body contact, then I think forcing him to use it is a bad idea. You're just going to make things worse for him. Men as leaders already have a lot of things to think and worry about; if he doesn't want to add body contact to that list, you shouldn't make him. You wouldn't want a man to force you to dance with body contact when you didn't want to, right? Then why do it to a man who's not ready for it? That's why I said whoever wants more space gets it, but once the man is willing to use body contact it's up to the woman to set the spacing between the partners.

In our studio, we begin teaching couples patterns WITHOUT any bodily contact. This keeps "multi-feeding the brain" out of the loop. However, as the students progress, we teach body leads in dances such as tango in which (I think) body contact is essential.

I'm in a area that has a large sub population of people with strong and very conservative religious views on morality. Any body contact is widely held as a no-no. We also have relatively few dancers beyond the "beginner stage." I always ask the lady if she would like to try a closer hold (it does make the lead/follow easier for both parties). I am also very selective in whom I ask, to avoid social repercussions.

How would I react if a lady asked me for more contact? I guess it would depend on the setting and how it was asked. I don't think I'd have any problem in a "learning situation;" i.e., in a class. In a social setting, I'd probably go along with the suggestion if the lady said something like: "I'm trying to work on improving my following, and I've generally found it goes better with more contact. Can we try dancing that way?" The one thing I would NOT suggest you do is to "just do it." Something of a similar nature happened to me in a dance once, and even though it was a perfectly normal step and very well executed, I was surprised, and had become so used to the "no contact" policy of the area (I grew up somewhere much more liberal), that I actually blushed: something I can still be teased about today.

R

This is what I was taught:
The man opens up for the lady and the lady place herself into the man's arms and torso. The lady decide how close they should be. The man does a little movement by changing his weight from one foot to another and the lady should follow. This is to feel and test the weigth of the lady. This is also to adjust the lady's position, some men prefere to have the lady a little bit to their right side.

For the lady:
If you are a complete beginner and have not learnt closed position, you should dance in open position. When the man opens up, you take his left hand in your right, place your left hand just underneath his right shoulder and do not move into any body contact. The man should know by this that you do not wish to dance in closed position.

For the man:
If you are a beginner and are more comfortable dancing in open position, you should tell the lady that you prefer to dance in open position because you have not yet learnt closed position. Any lady with some intelligence will accept this right away.

I have to admit that I had a lot of questions concerning bodyconntact when I first started to dance. When I learnt to dance in closed position I was wondering why the men did not hold me close to their body. Didnt they like me? I got low self-esteem from it, I tought they didnt want me close. But my trainer told me that it is the lady's job to keep and maintain bodyconntact. It is the lady who decide how close she should be.

But there is also some commitments to keeping the body-conntact as well. When dancing in closed position the man should not feel that he is pushing a mountain in front of him. The lady must move her weight quickly(this has nothing to do with the musical rythm)and not 'fall down on her heels'. You must keep good conntact all the time, but move your body at the same time. This is hard.

Anyway, if you want to dance in closed position, do it. Thats dancing! If you are unsecure if the man is comfortable doing it, ask. Have fun!