Hi All,

I posted about this before under the topic:

"New Material"

It seems to have disappeared but I hope it wasn't because of innapropriate responses.

I'm once more emceeing "Dance Pacifica" here in Victoria, BC, Canada:

http://www.intertrek.com/~vbds/

I like to use a lot of humour in my presentation but ballroom dance(r) jokes are few and far between. I don't wish to repeat myself and am wondering if anyone has anything to offer or quick sources to suggest?

Regards,

OB (aka Bob Gibb)

2. DANCE JOKES

Bumper Snickers:

If you don't dance for two days, you notice.
If you don't dance for four days, everyone notices.

Real men marry dancers.
(and they're happy to record the big game to watch your
performance)

Eat, Sleep, and be Dancey!

-----

Groaners:

Which dance will a chicken not do?
The foxtrot!

Why is it cool to be a dancer?
Because no one tells you off for having too much attitude!

What sort of dance does a plumber do?
A tap dance!

How do hens dance?
Chick to chick

What do you call a one legged dancer?
Eileen

How many dance teachers does it take to change a light bulb?
Five!...Six!...Seven!...Eight!

-----

Why is Ballroom Dancing better than a Blind Date?
Thanks to Dance Ace http://www.danceace.com/humor.html

A bad date lasts all evening, but a bad dance lasts three
minutes.

You can dance with a dozen different partners in just one hour.
If the dance partner is good, you can have another dance right
away.

No awkward goodbye at the end of a dance.

For MEN:

You don't have to pay for her dinner.

You see her before you commit to spending time with her.

If you like her, you can wrap her up in a cuddle.

You find out right away if she is a back seat driver.

For WOMEN:

You get to buy a special pair of shoes for the occasion.

If you don't like his looks, you can decline the dance without
guilt.

You find out right away if knows how to lead, or needs to be led.

If he smells bad, you can lean out away from him and people will
compliment you on your dancing style.

smooth,

Thanks.

Some definite keepers.

What's the difference between Einstein and a ballroom dancer?

Einstein could count!

OB

Father to his son's dancing teacher,"Tommy tells me you said he was a very promising pupil. Is that right?" Dancing teacher - "Only too true. He always promises to practise but never does."
Posted by ILuv2Dance.

The Satan arrives in church Sunday morning. Every body leaves screaming except one young man who just sits there "You know who I" am said Satan, "Why are you not afraid ". Afraid
I've been dancing with your sister for the last five years said the young man

A young man met a nice young lady at the social dance evening. After the first dance the young man started to chat her up. "So you're a nurse. I'd love to be a patient in your ward." "That's impossible. "You see I work in a maternity hospital."
Posted by ILuv2Dance.

Well, I set this one up 2 years ago with the assistant stage manager.

I asked her to pretend to whisper in my ear after I announce the grand prize for the evening, a trophy donated by my good friend Chuck. It went like this:

There was Chuckstanding up by the trophy table.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, it is now time to make the presentation of the Chuck MacKenzie "Memorial" Award."

The ASM leans in and pretends to whisper in my ear.

"Oops, a correction. I've just been informed Chuck's not dead yet. Who knew!"

It brought the house down in laughter.

Keep 'em comin'.

OB

I should add that Chuckie to this day still hasn't forgiven me for that joke.

But it was funny!

OB

What do cows like to line dance to ?
Any kind of moosic you like !



"About a year ago I took up line dancing. I got so into it I had to
join a Self help group to stop. It's a TWO STEP program."

Frederick J. Boenig


Why did the vampire enjoy ballroom dancing?
He could really get into the vaultz.



What do ghosts dance to?
Soul music.


This one is too cute:


A piece of string walks out onto the dance floor.
The DJ says, "You'll have to leave. We don't let strings dance here."
The string walks into another club. The DJ says, "Sorry, we don't let strings dance here."
The string is a little miffed now. So he tousles up his hair, ties a knot in his middle, and goes to a third dance club.
The DJ says, "We don't let strings dance here. You are a string aren't you?"
The string says, "No, I'm a frayed knot."



Why did the chicken cross the road?
Ballroom Dancers' response:
“Crossing the road followed line of dance.”
“To get the judges' attention.”
“The road lead, the chicken followed.”


Also, characterizations of the three styles of tango:

American tango is when you've just started dating, and you're flirting in an atmosphere of sexual tension.
Argentine tango is when you've just started sleeping together and you can't keep your hands off each other.
International tango is when you've been married for seven years and you're only staying together for the sake of the children