Well, I grew up in the metro NY area, and I'd say you'd probably be pretty safe in Manhattan! The closer to the city, the better off you'd be. My brother is gay and danced at a family wedding once with his friends. I don't think anyone would have looked twice, but he is such an awful dancer....looked like one of those toys I used to play with as a kid ... it's a little figure that sits on a round base and you push the bottom of it in, and the character's knees bend. That's him to a tee.
In any event, I keep telling my friends that a gay man would be my best shot at a partner because I wouldn't have to worry about being dumped for a girlfriend/dancer as is what happened with my last partner. If you're ever up in Boston, let me know!